Back to Your Future - Trauma, Empowerment, Getting Unstuck, Moving Forward
Oct 03, 2023
Today I want to talk to you about something pretty serious but also empowering, and that is the concept of where you are in time-based on your trauma and actual chronology. So chronologically, right, you are a certain age and whatever that age is, that is where you actually are in time since the day you were born, right? But trauma gets different parts of us stuck back in time. So, I'm going to explain that a little bit more and talk to you about the importance of time travel in just a moment.
Empowerment Oasis
First, I want to remind you that all this week I'm going live on Instagram and Facebook with my trusty intern Mackenzie. We are going to give some practical demonstrations of tips that can help with different things like emotions and mindset. Just things to make you feel better. So, if you want to catch that live, you can do that on Tuesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. EST and Wednesday and Friday at 12 p.m. EST. If you miss it, feel free to watch the replay. It'll be in both locations in various parts. The best way to do that is by joining the Facebook page which is Mental Health for Christian Women and Instagram is @ Mental Health for Christian Women. Please feel free to join us and follow and hopefully you'll get some good practical takeaways.
We are also doing these demos because we're doing the promo leading up to the end of the Early Bird sales for the twelve-week Empowered Coaching Program, the Empowerment Oasis. For that, you can still get bonuses if you register by 11:59 p.m. On Saturday, October 7. On October 8th, the price goes up if you purchase before then by going to Mental Health for Christian Women, clicking on the big orange lettering that says Click Here to Learn More. It'll take you to the page where you can sign up to have a free 15- minute consult with me to see if it's for you. No pressure, just happy to do that and see if this program is for you. Otherwise, if you want to purchase it, you can just purchase it there and you can either do the payment plan option or the pay in full. Basically, what you're going to get if you join the Empowerment Oasis at the Early Bird special is a physical copy of my Take Action Planner which is a daily tracker and goal setting journal, scripture cards to remind you of Bible memory verses that are pretty empowering, a free 1-hour coaching session with me and access to the program one week early.
So, what's in the Empowerment Oasis program? In this coaching program I will have a bunch of video modules for you with quick, easy takeaways such as the things that I am doing on these free Instagram and Facebook lives this week, so this is to give you a taste of that. There will be a bunch of those things on various topics from relationships, difficult conversation, boundary setting, calming anxiety, calming, panic, all types of things like that. Mindset work. There's also a secondary component, which is actually the bigger piece of the whole Empowerment Oasis framework, and that is the Empowered Freedom Framework. Basically, this framework takes you through five steps from the start of these learning modules where you will have weekly lessons to go through and journaling prompts to go through to assess where you are, to identify what your goals are, to identify what the deficits are, what the mindset distortions are and what tools and skills you need to go forward, and then I will also teach you effective goal-setting so that we can work together to say which of these skills and tools from these other videos, you can plug in. You can learn these techniques and plug in to have a customized plan so that you can get unstuck and reach your goals. So, if you want to talk more about that, go ahead to Mental Health for Christian Women, click on the orange lettering. It'll take you to the page for the Empowerment Oasis twelve-week coaching program. You can sign up either to talk with me for a free 15-minute consult, see if it's for you, and tell me about what's going on in your life. And I'd love to see how that can help you. And if you want to sign up, you can do that and still get the early bird bonus and discounts if you do that through Saturday, October 7th.
Back to the Future
Okay, so let's go back to time travel. Okay, so I'm an 80s teenager. I've aged since then, obviously. But back then I remember VCRs and the VHS tapes. They were new; they were different. Not everybody had a VCR back then. They were still like something that were a little more expensive and newer technology. And as I got older into my teen years, of course everybody had them and it was pretty typical, but early on, they were something pretty unique and special.
But I had one friend who with a VCR, and this friend with the VCR asked me if I'd like to watch a movie called Back to the Future with Michael J. Fox. And I was like, yeah. So, we put it on, and we watched it, and I had never seen anything like it. And I still love it. In fact, my husband and kids bought me the number one, two, and three for Christmas a couple of years ago, so I still love it and have it. Number two is my favorite!
So, if you're a Back to the Future fan, drop me a direct message somewhere in the Socials, on Instagram or Facebook and let me know which one's your favorite, because I'm curious. I really like number two; two, one, and then three would be my preference, so let me know yours. The gist of the movie, Back to the Future, if you've never seen it is there's a time machine and Michael J. Fox's character, Marty McFly, goes back into the past, and going back into the past actually messes it up. So, he spends the movie trying to fix it so that his parents still get together, so that he and his siblings can still exist in the present day and therefore have a future.
Go Back to Change Your Future
So, this is what effective trauma work can do. It takes you from your chronological age where you are presently, and it takes you back to the past so that you can see what's going on and you impact the past. So just like Marty McFly went back and his presence there altered what happened, he still was able to manipulate it so that the ultimate purposes came out of it. But what he changed in the past altered what he experienced in the present day. Hopefully that's not too confusing. Okay, so even though he went back in the past, when he did, there were things that changed, such as his father punching out the bully, which at the beginning, in the present timeframe, he hadn't stood up to the bully, and the bully ended up marrying his wife. Marty fixed that and okay, now I've confused myself. Anyhow, go watch Back to the Future if you need to follow that.
The point is, if you go back to your past from your present, you will be able to alter your past to then alter your present and your future by correcting the things that happened back then. It doesn't matter how far back you go. But if you go back to your significant pain points and understand how to meet those needs that you didn't have met back then or to gain those skills that you didn't have back then, or to process how you felt from a present-day person who basically goes back in a time machine to work with those parts and catch them up and give them what they didn't have. You are healing trauma. You are bringing those painful past pieces that are still recorded in your nervous system into the present moment with you, but in a different way. You've now altered the spacetime continuum, so to speak.
So, when I do therapy with people, I basically tell them if we are doing trauma work and we're doing EMDR trauma work, where we're focusing on specific targets to take care of themselves. Because in one session when we're doing EMDR, we have honest to goodness, even though we can't prove it and we've stayed at our own desks and tables in front of our computers, time travel, brain surgery, and heart surgery, okay? And spiritual warfare too, in some regards, right? Because we're taking back the truth and getting rid of what the enemy stole, right? And so basically there's a lot of work that goes on when you try to go back and heal what was missing in the past or what was needed in the past.
Coaching Versus Therapy
Now in coaching and this twelve-week Empowerment Oasis program, I'm not offering professional counseling because I'm only licensed in the state of Pennsylvania, so that doesn't work. Because if you're not in Pennsylvania, I can't work with you as a professional counselor but from a coaching standpoint. The reason I'm sharing that today is first of all, if you're looking for trauma therapy, help find somebody who is skilled in trauma therapy and knows how to help you do that reparative work, which basically is like going back to the future because you repair it. You go back, and you heal, and you actually get more caught up to your developmental age rather than where your internal parts are stuck in time because of the trauma. Because that's what happens. The trauma feels like it's a replay and like it's still happening, and you need the timestamp, which comes from effective processing of the experience and the memory in your nervous system, in your body. So that's where EMDR can help. So, if you need help with getting unstuck on a deep therapeutic level, you may want to look into a trauma specialist, professional counselor, and specifically somatic experiencing is good. Internal family systems are good. EMDR, (Eye Movement Desensitization, and Reprocessing) is good for that. And there are many other things that can help too, but those are things that you may want to consider.
Think Like a Therapist
So how does that come back to this coaching program? I am not going to be able to do therapy, but what this program is, is that I want to teach you, just like I did right now, how to think like a therapist. So basically, even though I can't do therapy with you, I can teach you the concepts, so that you can look at your story and evaluate what has taken place from that perspective. Because we look at these key markers in your story, I'm going to have you have journal prompts that look through your key story of what you want to work on to get unstuck towards your goals. You tell me that and then as I hear that, I'm going to teach you the higher-level concepts that allow you to know how to think about what you're still missing and what you need and how to get that. And that as well as things like these powerful tips of teaching, how to take the information of how our nervous systems work and how to challenge our mindsets, how to sit with our emotions, how to regulate ourselves in the present moment, those are just skills. Those are not therapy, although they're used in therapy, but those are skills. And I can coach you on that information. And so it's this beautiful thing where it's kind of like a self-help program in this twelve-week Empowerment Oasis coaching program. So even though it's not counseling, it is still the information that counselors who specialize in getting people unstuck from trauma and things like that, if they know these things, it really helps them to conceptualize what's going on so they can figure out what's needed.
No More Crazy Lady!
I'm on a passionate path for people to understand that we're not crazy in our nervous systems. We're trying to survive. And when you have the language of how to survive trauma, and not just survive it, but to heal and thrive from it, when you know and understand it from a body system's perspective, with your nervous system, everything just becomes clear. When I finally got this language, I had this, a-ha, light bulb moment, and I already had my master's in counseling in that I already had so many hours of counseling and I didn't have this training on trauma therapy and how trauma affects us. And it should not be that people are clueless as to how our bodies work.
What Is Trauma?
And that's this coaching process, when we show up with our experience, we are bringing to our present-day experience everything that's ever happened to us before. What you need to know is anything that causes a wound where you didn't get your needs attended to appropriately, whether you didn't have the understanding or compassion you needed, you didn't have someone teaching you what to do next or modeling how to do it, you were abused in some way, or there was some tragedy that happened or something was too overwhelming, whatever it was, it affected you. If there was a wound, that's what trauma means. It means wound. It's as simple as that.
Everybody alive has been traumatized, even babies. You think about the birth process. No matter how babies are born, there's some trauma involved for baby and mom, right? Even if it's just coming out into the world into a different temperature room with bright lights on your face, that's a wound from that nice secure place inside mom, right? So, if you're breathing, you've had wounds. And you don't have to compare how deep your wound is to somebody else's. It's all important because it's all stuff that informs your story.
A New Roadmap
The story that you tell yourself can either be helpful or unhelpful. The conclusions you made about things can either be helpful or unhelpful. The way you calm your nervous system or don't calm it and try to soothe in other ways, like avoidance or fighting. Those also inform it and can be helpful or unhelpful. That's the kind of language I'm teaching you. The kind of stuff like I teach in the podcast. But in this twelve-week Empowerment Oasis coaching program, it will be more specific of teaching these topics of information and education such that you will have access to them. To see how to plug and play, put them into your puzzle pieces, to have a new template, a new map for how to reach your goals and go forward.
So, I really hope that if what I've said resonates with you and you are ready to get unstuck and to understand how the nervous system works, how your story and what's happened to you impacts you and where you're getting stuck and how to get unstuck, what to look at. That's the kind of stuff that I will consult and coach with you in the program. So go to Mental Health for Christian Women, click the orange lettering to go to the page, schedule a free call with me, or sign up for the program either in the monthly installments or pay all at once.
But if you do it before October 8th, you will get the early bird discount and the bonuses. I hope you'll join me for lives this week with my trusty intern Mackenzie from Messiah University, who does the social media. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram, Mental Health for Christian Women, and you can get some practical tips that you can apply right away, and hopefully those will be beneficial to you.
I just really want you to get the freedom that Christ already has provided for you. It is there for the taking. It's often that we just don't know what we don't know. And trauma is often the missing piece that people don't know how to approach. They don't have the concepts for it, and they don't understand what their story is saying it needs. Once you have that information, yes, you may still need therapy to do the reprocessing and such, but once you have the information, you will have a better handle on it. And there are tools that you can use to help your nervous system to heal based on simply having knowledge and an understanding, a different way of conceptualizing what has happened to you, so that you know exactly the path that will be beneficial to take on a daily basis. And that's where the tracking sheets will help. And in the program, you will also have access to me through Voxer Voice app to ask me questions at any point as you're going through the journaling homework and the learning modules. But also, you will have access to me in a coaching format where once a week you can come into a group with other participants, and we will just talk about what you're noticing as you're going through the program, and I can answer any questions for you. It's a very robust twelve-week coaching program, and it starts October 23. So go to Mental Health for Christian Women, click the orange lettering to find out more, see if it's for you, and I hope to see you in the twelve-week Empowerment Oasis program. All right, all the best to you and tune in for the lives on Facebook and Instagram Tuesday and Thursday at 11 a.m. EST and Wednesday and Friday at 12 p.m. EST. God bless.
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